It’s that time of year again—time to reflect on the past twelve months and set goals for the future. As the new year rolls around, we evaluate our lives to identify what’s working—and what’s not working—in various domains. We consider making changes regarding our careers, friendships, and of course, love.
With so many areas to address, kicking off goals for January 1 can sometimes feel overwhelming, but here’s the good news! If you’re hoping 2017 will bring new developments in your love life, there’s really only one resolution you need to make!
In 2017, resolve to lose your lists.
To be clear, we’re not in any way suggesting you lower your standards or “settle” for someone you think is “just okay”—absolutely not! What we are encouraging, however, is that you open your mind to the very real possibility that the love of your life may show up missing one or two qualities from your list of “Must-Haves,” or possessing one or two traits from your list of “Deal Breakers.” Yet despite these deficiencies, you’re going to fall madly in love anyway—if you give him/her a chance.
But you’ll have a hard time giving anyone a chance unless you lose your lists.
In fact, according to our website poll, 68% of respondents indicate they decide whether or not they want a second date with someone within an hour or less of meeting them—which is pretty darn quick! Is it possible they’ve immediately written off their date because of rigid adherence to a list?
But don’t take our word for it, take it from those who’ve been there—those who lost The Lists and found The One!
John (37) puts it this way, “I’ll admit it. I was hung up on age when dating. I refused to date anyone older than me and to be honest, I preferred women about five years younger. Then I met Victoria and everything changed. I ran into her at a bar, and that’s a good thing because if I’d initially known how old she was, I would have swiped left and missed out on the best thing that ever happened to me!”
Leslie (46) says, “I know it sounds harsh, but divorce was on my list of deal-breakers. I’d seen too many of my friends deal with horrible drama in their relationships due to their boyfriends’ ex-wives and kids. I told all my friends to never fix me up with a divorced guy. But one friend missed the memo—thank God! She set me up with Brad who was recently divorced and had three kids. On our first date when he mentioned the ex-wife and kids, I was tempted to immediately ask for the check! But we were having a really great date, so I stuck it out to give him a chance. We’re married now and he’s absolutely the love of my life! I realized my lists kept me focused on the wrong things. I didn’t need to worry about whether or not my date had ‘baggage’ but rather if he had the character and integrity to manage issues from his past in a healthy, mature manner. I crossed off divorced from my Deal Breakers list and add integrity to my list of Must-Haves!”
Let this one simple New Year’s resolution make a huge impact on your love life in 2017! Resolve to lose your lists to find The One!
Dating during the holidays can be stressful! Do you introduce the person you’re seeing to your family and friends at Thanksgiving?
You’ve hit it off on a first date with someone new and the sparks are flying. But when it’s time to make a move, uncertainty comes creeping in.
Yes, texting is a quick and easy way to chat in the world of dating.